It's sad to hear these stories. It reminded me of a story my friend (Z) once told me. Z was an outgoing person with lots of friends. Soon after she 'paktoh' with this guy (W), she had to eliminate her guys friends, 'coz he doesn't like her talking to them. Throughout their relationship, they constantly argued, 'coz she was a strong-willed person and she doesn't like to be controlled. W got jealous easily and would do stupid things like running off to his ex-gf or threatening to slit his wrist with a knife or verbally abuse her till she had low self respect. Z had tried breaking-off with W, but as in most relationships, the girl would always forgive the guy & get back together. Z was stuck in the relationship for 1.5 years before she finally decided to call it quits for good, but he stalked her thereafter. She told me about this story years later. She didn't have the guts to tell anyone at that time 'coz she was ashamed. None of her friends knew about her situation coz W looked like the perfect boyfriend. After it was over, she realised that she wasn't even in love with him. She was young, and he happens to be attractive and interesting. Anyway, I'm glad Z got out and there was no physical abuse involved.
There was another friend (K) who was physically abused by her husband. He was the perfect gentleman when they were dating. Everything changed after they got married. I don't know much about her story, but I knew there was once when he threw her against the wall. K is a pretty and sweet person. I'm glad that phase of her life is over now and she is happily married to her current husband who adores her.
But to those who are in an abusive relationship, here are some warning signs (extracted from loveisnotabuse.com).
- calls you names and puts you down in front of others
- acts extremely jealous
- controls your behaviour, checking up constantly, & demanding to know who you've been with
- abusive for not answering his phone / replying his SMS on time
